prosecutors say 29 year old gurney knew what he was doing when he strangled his 18-year-old girlfriend noah tsarnaki cut her head off and then set her body on fire i found 71 hits on the key word behead his lawyers meanwhile say gurney is not criminally responsible for the death of zoe sarnacki because he suffers from mental disease or defect and he never even left us a body to say goodbye to that will always hide me one thing that makes our podcast and our youtube channel different from others that are out there is the fact that
drooby and i have had so many front seat encounters with different homicides in the lewiston auburn area as you’d remember from our coverage of the dawn of parity and christiana fesmire cases that we covered last year but you might be shocked to know that those two cases that took place at our former workplace acs weren’t the first for me and they weren’t the last today’s episode is gruesome and has themes of dv that may not be suitable for those who have past trauma surrounding this issue and i’m gonna be honest with you i don’t know if
i’m the best person to tell this story in fall due to the time that’s passed many of the newspaper articles citing witness statements are no longer available i’m sure there’s many other folks out there that were much closer to the situation that might have a lot more insight however the story needs to be told and we feel a duty to use our platform to share the story as there wasn’t much coverage in the media about it so we’ll tell it with the facts that are known publicly the facts i recall and i’ll share my personal stories as
well i first became aware of chad gurney in the late summer of 1999 while i was at the litchfield fair with my cousin school had just gone back into session and we were looking for just a few nights out before i started my sophomore year while we were approaching the zipper which is probably one of the most unsafe rides at fairs ever i caught a glimpse of a good looking fellow just in the distance with a group of guys and i asked my cousin who is that to which she responded to me that’s chad gurney stay away from him both chad and
my cousin attended oak hill high school in wales maine which is just a few miles away from lewiston headed northeast on route 126 which is also known as sabattus street oak hill was a smaller rural school district consisting of small towns such as sabattus wales and litchfield there’s a running joke that the town of wales actually has more cows than people but overall it’s a quaint area and a decent place to grow up while at oak hill chad excelled in athletics and was a member of the school wrestling and lacrosse teams i ran into chat a few
years later at bull moose music in lewiston which was pretty much the local hangout for all kids in the music scene at the time by then he had already graduated from high school and amassed a large collection of colorful tattoos depicting aliens on his arm and a black and white alligator this was the browns 2000 or 2001.
around the scene chad was known as chad gator and i’m not a hundred percent sure if it has to do with his tattoo which honestly seemed out of place amongst his other colorful ones but i’m sure it had something to do with it days later i had found out that chad had asked for my contact information from a mutual friend and we began chatting via aol instant messenger and email the conversations were always friendly in nature we discussed music what concerts we had planned to attend there wasn’t a lot going on in the lewis norman area and there still isn’t so
when any band came to the local civic center chances are everyone would be going in the mid to late 90s into the early 2000s pretty much every mainstream metal band that was popular at the time came to the central maine civic center and during this time i became something of a sounding board anytime chad was having trouble with whomever he was dating he often claimed his girlfriends were cheating on him although i was never really provided any concrete proof of any of that chad and i were never romantically involved in any way which
was probably for the best i want to stress this we were not seeing each other on any level we were just friends and we kept in contact over the years and would meet up on occasion at a mutual friend’s house or at his parents house after he got out of work and we’d sit and chat on one occasion after he got out of work we met up and smoked cigarettes in his car in a small local cemetery listening to the curious disintegration album and enjoying each other’s company in silence it was really really peaceful and it’s probably my
favorite memory of him and how i actually prefer to remember him we lost contact over the years and eventually he met and started a relationship with a really nice girl that i went to school with together they set off to attend college at liberty university in lynchburg virginia i had seen him a few times when he’d make the trip back to maine to see family and he seemed genuinely happy and honestly they made a really cute couple i don’t know the details on how their relationship ultimately ended but tragedy did strike
in 2005 chad was the goalie of the liberty university lacrosse team while on a trip in alabama his team’s 15 passenger van was rear-ended by another van causing it to collide with an 18-wheeler merely killing him chad suffered a severe head injury and other injuries that led to 20 different surgeries including almost losing his leg and most of the use of one of his arms he later returned to maine and lived off of a multi-million dollar insurance settlement settling in the portland area with a french bulldog whom
he named marcel during this time chad became increasingly interested in eastern religion martial arts and was known to be generous with his money also during this time chad struggled with his mental health and the residual pain associated with his injuries an examining physician found that chad had a number of cognitive defects including problems with attention memory language math but did not note any psychotic symptoms this is important for later in 2007 chad was treated for anxiety and depression and diagnosed
with organic personality disorder this is defined as a mental disorder caused by intrinsic disease which is characterized by persistent alteration of a known behavioral pattern changes in emotional stability motivation judgment or impulse control are usually noted it is broadly classified as a personality change due to a general medical condition chad was also diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder but there was no evidence of thought disorder or delusions nor did chad report any such voices or delusions to the examining
physician according to friends it was not unusual for chad to see signs in everyday events both before and after his 2005 accident and to attribute importance to those signs which we’ll talk about a little bit later as well it was noted however that chad continued to have significant distress regarding his relationships with women now let’s talk about how i knew chad it would be irresponsible of me if i didn’t mention that i’m not exactly sure if it was 2005 or 2006 when i first met him so it’s possible i met him after his
accident this distinction is important based on what i’m about to share either way based on what i saw i wish the accident had killed him i’ll give you some background context here when i was a teenager i used to frequent confettis in lewiston confettis was a chem free nightclub that was packed every night they were open my friend amanda’s dad owned it and she wanted to give back to the local scene by booking hardcore punk and metal shows there on off nights booking local shows is not an easy thing to do at all it can
be a huge headache actually most people only become bookers for a short period of time because it requires a lot of work and there’s a very little money in doing it i took it for granted at the time but the fact that amanda was able to successfully book bands from out of state and sell out the venue multiple times was incredible she was still in high school while doing this looking back on it she contributed more to the local music scene here than probably anyone else did at the time shows were all i looked forward to every
week at school it was my escape from an incredibly toxic high school and dealing with the isolation of living in a suffocating small town going to shows wasn’t a new thing for me at this point and i knew that music scenes especially the hardcore music scene weren’t all full of the camaraderie shared by underground music lovers some people went to these shows purely to hurt people chadgator was one of those people i first became aware of chad when i watched him kick a girl in the face he was hardcore dancing in a mosh pit
and she was standing at the edge of it not everyone who hit somebody in a pit is intentionally looking to do so but chad looked in her direction and then let towards the edge of the pit when he did it i saw him laugh afterwards a little more context hardcore dancing is this very unique type of moshing there’s two step in which is largely fairly tame but the most notable and violent part about hardcore dancing is during parts of the song called breakdowns these parts are where people wildly flail around with punches and
kicks i’m really trying to summarize this in a nutshell for people who are unfamiliar many people who do this aren’t trying to hit anyone they’re just getting lost in a song in a very primal way it sounds silly but it’s incredibly exhilarating i myself used to do it and no i never hit anyone but i was more careful than most about it i cannot say the same about chad so you might be saying to yourself well that’s nonsense nobody would stand for a grown man kicking a girl in the face they’d all jump him or maybe you
yourself think you would intervene if you witness this well you’d be surprised i don’t believe i directly saw it with chad but i saw other people try to intervene on these types of people and they would quickly be jumped by all of their friends as long as you didn’t do it often or you made it look like an accident you weren’t kicked out by the bouncers some still were one time i saw a grown man axe kick a girl while jumping off the stage and an axe kick is where you lift your leg up vertically and bring it down using your
heel to strike the person and he must have broken her nose because i saw the blood spray he was quickly ejected by a bouncer now i’m not gonna sit here and act like chad was exclusively targeting women because he didn’t in fact hitting a woman was far more likely to end up with you getting kicked out of the show than hitting men i also wish that i could say chad was the most dangerous person i saw at hardcore shows but sadly he was not hardcore shows at the time had crews show up they may still now i haven’t been to one in a very long time the
biggest crew at the time in portland was one called hate crew if you weren’t in hate crew and you were hardcore dancing in the pit you would get beat on until you stopped doing so only hate crew members if they attended a show were allowed to mosh in a pit now i’m not sure if chad was in hate crew but i’m explaining this to to illustrate the culture of what was going on and chad always had a group of people with him that backed him up with whatever he did if he didn’t know you especially if you weren’t physically
imposing chad would hit you if you were near the pit i saw it with my own eyes a friend had told me that’s chad gator don’t let any girl you know be alone with him so i never spoke with chad and i didn’t want to he was exactly the type of person i thought ruined music scenes the exact type of person i was trying to get away from by going to these scenes i can’t confirm anything specific but multiple people told me negative things about him including that he was violent with women in his personal life in march
of 2009 chad who was now 27 years old met 18 year old zoe sarnacki at a portland tattoo shop where he often hung out against the tattoo artist’s advice the two subsequently began a casual romantic relationship although chad had stated he did not consider theirs to be an exclusive relationship he also indicated that he had intense feelings for her zoe was a beautiful young woman who had recently left deering high school in portland and was just starting to find her way in the worlds she loved animals the arts and had a large circle
of friends and family in may of the same year chad took a one-week trip to vancouver british columbia and canada after returning to portland on the 20th chad asked zoe to leave her job at bagel works in the old port in portland and join him on a spiritual trip to thailand that he had planned later that month but she declined his offer shortly after zoe told chad that she had been intimate with another man while he was in canada due the open nature of their relationship this should not have been a problem however on may 25th of 2009 zoe
spent the day at chad’s apartment on cumberland avenue in downtown portland this is actually kind of a nice area in portland it’s a very nice area even at the time so she apologized for having been intimate with someone else and took an afternoon nap in chad’s bed in the apartment’s lofts not that she needed to apologize for everything they had in open relationship while zoe was laying on the bed chad snapped he grasped her by the neck head headbutted her strangled her until she was dead he then performed a lewd act on and then
decapitated zoe’s body due to potential youtube censorship and out of respect for zoe we’re not going to get too descriptive into what that lewd act was but i’m sure you know where we’re going with this there’s been a lot of rumors a lot that were spread around about this case especially by the media in the early days some reports indicated that he went out to his vehicle to retrieve a samurai sword but court records indicate that the implements that he used were in fact three different knives there are also rumors he arranged different spiritual
items including a crucifix around where her body was unfortunately we can’t definitively confirm any of these things so chad then showered changed his clothes drove off to a gas station purchased a gas can and filled it with gasoline and brought it back to the apartment chad then poured gasoline on his bed all over zoe’s body and all over her personal belongings he then trailed the gasoline from the bed down the steps of the loft and ignited it he then poured gasoline in two other areas in the lower level of his
apartment somehow nobody noticed him doing this so chad collected his luggage and passport that he had packed for his trip to thailand he packed his laptop and an empty shotgun and placed the items in his vehicle he then drove to old orchard beach stopped at an atm and paid cash to rent room 107 at the crest motel for two nights chad was noted to ask the motel clerk for suggestions on where to eat dinner and he later used the motel’s hot tub portland firefighters responded to the fire at chad’s 463 cumberland avenue
apartment at approximately 6 30 that evening where they discovered zoe’s remains when chad’s neighbor called him to inform him about the fire he told the neighbor that he was on his way to lewiston and then hung up on them at around 9pm 20 year old amber wallace showed up at chad’s apartment and was greeted by a police officer and taken down to the station amber had been an ex-girlfriend of chad’s and also had this non-exclusive relationship with him as chad wanted to see other women and also preferred to date women several
years younger than him and this was an ongoing theme throughout his life this is what he was known for yes she advised police that chad had been texting her throughout the day to come over and visit after she got out of work and although she knew that he had been seeing zoe she had no idea that she was in the apartment in the early morning hours of may 26 chad’s best friend at the time corey bryant spoke with him on the phone chad sounding calm and irrational admitted to his friend that he murdered zoe saying that she had done
something to hurt him and that he was tired of being hurt and he just lost it while he was speaking with chad cory was stopped by a portland police officer for a minor traffic violation chad stayed on the phone with corey while he was pulled over and he asked corey to tell the officer what had happened and to explain to the officer that he had been in an accident and might not be all there mentally as a result after talking to corey chad turned himself into the police and admitted to killing zoe and gave a detailed account of how it occurred
in his statement to police chad admitted that he knew that killing her was wrong he also consented to a search of his motel room and his vehicle and the police seized his laptop and cell phone as evidence during multiple conversations and interviews with chad on may 26 the police observed no evidence that he was suffering from delusional thinking chad explained to police that zoe was quote a bright wonderful being and i lost it and i feel terrible end quote he also reported to a social worker during his intake at the cumberland county jail
that he was hearing voices and seeing signs before and after killing zoe he also reported to a social worker however that zoe’s murder resulted partially from his impulsive anger about a month after the crimes chad reported to the social worker and to others that the crime would have never happened if he had seen love letters that zoe had written to him that he read only after her death now my big question is where do you find these love letters i don’t even think any were officially found they were just found by his own
admission yeah correct i mean were they with her belongings did he have in the house like none of that makes sense yeah did he torch them afterwards we just don’t know chad was charged with one count of murder and one count of arson he entered a plea of not criminally responsible by reason of mental disease or defect at his arraignment chad underwent a three-stage examination and was assessed by several psychologists and psychiatrists and his explanation for killing zoe changed over the course of these interviews chad first met with
a psychologist four times in june and july of 2009 he explained to them that quote zoe was just laying there i walked up the steps i looked at her with a blank look and i did what i did the last couple of days she had been at my heels i misread it i got arrogant rather than loving and nurturing her i had such a problem with women and this is how it finally came out end quote chad also stated quote you don’t kill people i knew it was wrong end quote he denied that zoe’s recent intimate encounter with another man was related to killing
her however in interviews with a psychiatrist occurring around this time chad admitted that the intimate encounter heard a lot and deflated him he also stated quote i was so sick of it like every effing girlfriend i’d ever had every effing woman part of me was saying why do you do anything nice for her she slept with someone else while you were gone one week end quote the psychiatrist found no evidence of chad responding to internal stimuli such as hearing voices or experiencing delusional thinking in november of 2009 chad told a forensic
psychologist that he had been listening to the band a perfect circle on the day of the killing and the lyrics described how he felt in that the quote universe was pushing me to hurt her end quote a disclosure that psychologists found to not be credible because chad had never referenced it before chad told the psychologist that his urge to kill zoe became overwhelming so he killed her he also went on to explain that after he killed zoe he figured that he had already done one horrible thing and was just thinking of the next horrible thing
to do which is why he engaged in further damaging acts to her body so although the psychologist did not find his admission credible i can attest that chad did in fact listen to the band a perfect circle on occasion in fact we both went to their show when they came to lewiston on one occasion back in the late 90s when he was fighting with his then girlfriends claiming that she was cheating which again i cannot confirm he actually sent me an email with the full lyrics to the song three libras now why is this important so according to
frontman manor james keenan three libras is a song about parasitic-like people seeing something different or special about a person instead of nurturing that quality or helping that person grow the three libras feed off the energy in a bad way instead of using it for good he has also further stated that it’s about loving and opening yourself up to someone but they don’t care and notice you back maynard likened it to rare mountain gorillas that were rarely noticed by humankind by his own explanation those gorillas could only be approached by
being empathetic you can be the one to decide how chad gurney interpreted the song as it applied to his own life on august 13th and november 12th of 2010 chad was examined by a psychiatrist that was hired by the defense i have read somewhere this psychiatrist caught six figures chad told the psychiatrist that his spiritual advisor instructed him to set aside everything that he had in his life in order to go on a journey with him and that this was the ultimate test chad had also stated that he did not believe that he was killing zoe because
they shared eternal life that he and zoe had shared these beliefs and values and that he was performing a ritual of purification for eternal life by strangling beheading or fire on may 10 2010 chad filed a motion to suppress evidence obtained from a search of his laptop his ipod and his cell phone as a result of an allegedly defective search warrant the court ruled in a detailed order that the search warrants and supporting affidavits were sufficiently credible therefore denying his motion to suppress evidence derived
from those two devices the court did grant his motion to suppress evidence with respect to the ipod chad also filed a motion to suppress evidence obtained from his facebook account which the court also denied however there was no evidence relating to chad’s facebook account that was ultimately admitted or referred to at the trial but what was he trying to hide so evidence was found on chad’s laptop with regards to a beheading video of a woman that was allegedly accused of cheating and that was viewed prior to
zoe’s death the court held a nine-day jury waived trial beginning on january 10 2011 and included expert witnesses from both sides that testified regarding chad’s mental state the court had also heard testimonies from some of chad’s ex-girlfriends some of whom claimed to suffer mental and physical harm at his hands others who had not amber wallace testified that chad could be mean and withdrawn but he had never been violent with her she also testified that chad had never talked to her about hearing voices and there were no indications
that he was ever delusional or suffering from a serious mental illness amber visited chad four or five times at the cumberland county jail after his arrest she testified that she asked him what would have happened if she not zoe had been at the apartment on the afternoon of may 25th she said that chad told her quote that if i was the one who was there nothing would have happened to me he made reference to me being bigger than zoe end quote on february 4 2011 the court found chad guilty of murder and arson as
charged the court entered a thoughtful and thorough written judgment with comprehensive findings of fact the court found that the evidence indicated that this was a dv homicide and that chad was reacting to zoe having been intimate with another man when intentionally or knowingly he strangled her the court found no credible evidence that chad suffered from any psychiatric or medical condition that supported his contention that he was not criminally responsible by reason of insanity for murdering the victim and setting the fire
in addition the sarnaki family was awarded a 1.35 million dollar settlement chad is currently being housed at the maine state prison in warren maine serving 50 years for zoe’s death and another 25 years with 10 years suspended for the arson although it’s not an official life sentence chad’s earliest release date is october 16th 2068.
if he makes it to his release alive he will be 87 years old at this point in the episode we’d love to talk about who zoe was as a person things she liked but unfortunately there’s very little information about her out there however we did find some really nice things written about her on a memorial page and we’ll read some of those things right now so this one says quote on saturday zoe and i talked of what the future held for her she said she was going back to school maybe leaving the state of maine in her eyes i saw someone with a bright
future i believe on saturday in the parking garage when we spoke for the last time that i would see her years from now with amazing stories of where she was in her life but in a blink of a moment she was gone there will be no seeing her again she was a wonderful sweet person who touched my life in the short time i knew her i will always remember her smile and her kindness end quote quote i remember walking the halls of deering admiring zoe for her beauty and uniqueness not many freshmen come into high school already being cool but she did
some people exude so much confidence that you know they will lead a successful future zoe’s life ended prematurely but she clearly affected many lives in her 18 years even in her death zoe has brought a community together to mourn this terrible crime and celebrate her short life god bless to her family may they find comfort in such tragedy rest in peace we will miss you end quote quote nearly every time we hung out we wandered around looking for jobs but not really looking very hard just knowing we should probably get them
we were both so quiet and there would be a lot of silences and i would worry you thought i was boring it was so awkward that silence but i kept trying because you were so lovely the last time i saw you we had run into each other you asked me if i wanted to have a picnic and then we never made more specific plans i wish i could have seen you one more time that smile the most beautiful smile i have ever seen lady i hope you are somewhere dreamy rest well i love you end quote hey guys i wanted to take a small break
to talk about sponsorships i know some people feel that true crime channels podcasts or even tv shows should have no ads or sponsors whatsoever because we’re talking about people who have suffered we try to be very mindful and respectful of that fact please note that we put over 40 hours each week into each episode we do on top of our full-time jobs the majority of our youtube videos are demonetized we have monthly costs for our hosting fees and our tools that we use to make episodes and videos and sponsors help keep us afloat so that way
we can keep bringing you the best content we can every week we hope that you understand that our number one priority is to honor those that have tragically lost their lives and tell their stories as completely and accurately as possible with that said i want to take one minute to tell you all about this episode sponsor afterwards we’re going to discuss the aftermath of chad’s conviction and yergie will also discuss some dealings with him while he was incarcerated so please stick around this episode has been brought to you by
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it started as letters we just kind of caught up with what was going on also in 2012 that was the year my grandmother passed away now at that point chad started calling me he did some really horrible things obviously this murder what he did awful but i will say that he was one of the few people that was extremely supportive to me during the time when my grandmother died and how does this tie in so remember earlier when i was talking about how he would see signs in everyday life well when my grandmother passed away i went outside
and a cardinal perched out in a tree in front of me after i went back inside i stayed with her we watched food network for the last time because that’s something that we used to do all the time and that cardinal flew over to her window and stayed with me for the full four hours that it took for the funeral home to come pick her up so that was something chad and i talked you know in detail the symbolism of cardinals and bird totems and it’s something we kind of related on so that definitely the symbolism thing is true for him i was
hoping maybe he could give some explanation further of what he did he never really did he admitted to me that obviously they had done this but we never got that deep into the case how did you find out and what was your response when you found out that he had done he had done it so my friend amanda not turkish’s mom but one of my friends from high school had texted me the day that he was arrested was like jess have you seen the news they think chad killed somebody i i was just kind of at loss for words like what how do you react
this is like the not the person you knew and this is not a scenario most people are faced with in their lives so since finding out what he had done to zoe how long had it been since you contacted him a couple years had gone by so a lot of our contact had started like winter 2012.
some had time had passed and i had time to think about it and think about what i wanted to say or if i even wanted to have contact so eventually he asked me to come visit and i hemmed and hawed on that quite a bit because one warren’s really far from here two we hadn’t seen each other in many years and i didn’t know how uncomfortable that would be sitting with him there and the third part is is visits at warren are pretty long they’re like for three hours and i just didn’t know if i wanted to be in a possibly uncomfortable situation for that long
but i went and it was incredibly uncomfortable i feel like i got some sort of closure in doing so he’s definitely not the person that i hung out with as a teenager into my early 20s that i listened to the cure with it’s a totally different person now one thing when yurgi and i started talking about this case because i didn’t know that she knew chad until way later and one of the surprising things that i had heard from yergie was that she had no idea that chad was a violent of a person no because he was never like
that with me and i don’t want to discount anybody that had some sort of past with him that was like that i honestly don’t i didn’t see it and i think a big part of that is because we were just friends there was no sort of like intimate partner dv situation going on there so i wouldn’t have seen it and you weren’t at shows either i didn’t go to local shows i went to like some of the bigger shows i have social anxiety and at the time i didn’t go to some of the smaller shows you reconnected with him after his accident though right so
you did see him after the accident who he was then i did not oh you do that’s kind of an important thing i didn’t get to see how he was after the accident but prior to the murder i didn’t get to see that at all we’ve talked about traumatic brain injuries tbi what that can do to a person was the reason he killed zoe strongly related to the fact that he got in a massive car accident that gave him brain damage i mean i don’t want to say that that is the sole reason my personal belief and obviously we can never know for certain is that he was
already a pretty terrible manipulative awful person before the accident and now after the accident with the traumatic brain injury much more impulsive and angry than he was before that is my guess i’ve seen people give takes that they thought that he was a sociopath even far before the accident i cannot say that for certain again my experience with chad i cannot say 100 if this was after his accident or not so why did i stop corresponding so when i went to to visit it was really weird it seemed like he was playing crazy and
what do i mean by that he was explaining to me that he was really really trying to get into riverview which is the psychiatric unit up here in maine with hopes that he would be released earlier he had also told me that he was trying to go and find somebody to marry to then hopefully get transferred to a new york facility to get conjugal visits so that was rather strange another really strange thing that he told me is that zoe’s mom had been visiting him in the prison and that she forgave him and i’m not one to tell a
mother how to grieve if this is true if that’s how she’s found forgiveness and peace so be it but i’m just starting to feel like i can’t really believe some of the things he was saying he also said that she was better off in a better place because she really didn’t like things here on earth that that’s what zoe’s mother said about zoe that is what chad alleged right he said yes another strange thing he was constantly trying to weird out his psychiatrist that he has in the prison and he also told me that he told his
mother when she visited one time that he was just gonna do whatever in prison and once he felt sick and tired of it he was just gonna kill himself at some point and this was around the time if you again remember our buddy robinson christiana fesmeyer episode buddy had been sentenced and was now going to warren and chad really wanted to know who buddy was and would not leave it alone at this point chad had started getting really violent was attacking guards and i didn’t want buddy to have any trouble while he was there so i
basically cut off contact at that point and that was the last time you spoke with him right and before we stopped talking he sent me this picture now it’s a picture of him and we’ll definitely have this as something as part of our youtube to show but it’s a picture of him you know standing kind of jail pose and on the back it said dear jess be my d20 crits love chad but he had actually scribbled some stuff out so it originally said i love you you should be mine just kind of just showing how all over the place he is a d20 crit for people
who aren’t nerds is in the game of dungeons and dragons which is a tabletop role-playing game you roll a dice a 20-sided die and if it comes up on 20 you are critically successful yes therefore rolling a crit so that’s what that means and dnd was something we talked about generally at length sometimes on the phone through letters and we talked about during the visit the thing that i find strange about thailand is that i don’t think it would have taken a reasonably intelligent person to have gotten out of the country in this
time i think that had he decided to do this he could have been on that plane before she was discovered i’m kind of surprised that did not happen well that’s why i think he didn’t get an actual life sentence here because this was more of a crime of passion if he hadn’t set the fire nobody would have known until he was already long gone but instead he set the fire and then just camped out over at old orchard beach and hung out in the hot tub which is not to say that had he fled to thailand he wouldn’t eventually
been caught because they do extradite a lot of places will extradite to the us they have a whole team looking out for people over there that shouldn’t be but i’m surprised he was not there the idea that he was going to thailand in general should be touched upon because you may have thought when we were talking about he wanted to take a spiritual trip to thailand well people don’t really go to spiritual trips to thailand that’s not really top of the spiritual destinations for thailand not to say that people don’t and i don’t want to
act like i’m an expert on thailand here but i do wonder and other people have theorized maybe there was a different reason as to why chad was fleeing to thailand so i think you read that in a forum post on the return to the pit site right yes that’s correct so i found something else that’s really interesting there and it goes back to talking about how he may have been rough with his girlfriends or something to that effect just not a really great partner so someone posted quote someone i know has known and disliked him since she was 16 while
working with him at a record store so this record store would have been bull moose music it had a bunch of posters covering the walls in the back and one hardcore band poster had a male figure strangling a woman who was lying helplessly on the ground someone had written chad with an arrow pointing to the guy and his then girlfriend’s name as the woman end quote i mean that kind of goes to show how he might have been acting at the time i originally thought when reading this this was something that was in his room
but after like rereading it again clearly it was some of the posters that were opened at bull moose because they had posters on every wall there so do i still consider him a friend so that’s a really hard question you can have friends family members will not do horrible things and still consider them so i have a really hard time with it because i mean we haven’t corresponded in a number of years but i think that i can just keep the memory of the chad that i did know that was good and consider that a friend and
just kind of keep it at that as if someone has passed on it’s like he’s dead but he’s still alive if that makes any sense yeah and i’ve had a lot of time to kind of stew and think on this and i think that’s basically how i feel i mean it’s been 10 years let’s be clear like this wasn’t she was talking to him the other day it has been over 10 years at this point since they’ve talked if you appreciate this video know that we have put a lot of time and effort into it we put in the amount of time that one would spend at their full-time
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